On Having Opinions

Why do you always say what you believe? 
Why do you always say what you believe? 
Every proclamation guarantees free ammunition for your enemies.

                                                   --Aaron Burr in "Non-Stop" from Hamilton

     It's difficult having opinions, especially your own. There is, of course, a group of people out there who are so happy to have opinions they will forthwith proceed to shove them down your throat. This group is generally referred to as the a**hole class. Then there is another group of people who have secret opinions, the kind who won't tell you their opinions, but will passive-aggressively punish you if you disagree. This group commonly goes by the title of family. 

     Me? I belong to that group of people who are genuinely fearful of having opinions. I mean, I know I have opinions, but I don't like it. Opinions are divisive. Opinions are the reason you avoid a**holes or your family. Opinions give you politics, and we all know how that goes, don't we?

     In fact, you may have noticed that I have not posted anything for quite a long time on this blog. Truth be told, I've been dying to express some opinions about the election, but I've also just wanted to completely avoid entering that foray. Every time I think I have an opinion to express, I just think to myself, Great! That's one more opinion out there for people to just react to based upon their ideology! My opinion will now get tossed into the junkheap of opinions out there, and what will come of it? Will it change anyone's mind? Probably not. But will probably make people angry? Probably. So I stay quiet. 

     But the most difficult thing about having your own opinions is the threat of losing your identity. Step outside the orthodox box and risk having your identity thrown away. In politics, terms like RINO and DINO get thrown around to insult people who step outside the party line. Step outside the box in religion and people will start questioning your salvation. People will even have their race or ethnicity challenged when they express the "wrong" opinion, as when a black individual is told they're "not black enough."

     Now, don't get me wrong, having your identity questioned, though it can be hurtful, is nowhere near as bad as being burned at the stake for heresy. I'd say we've made some pretty decent progress on that front. But all the same, that sense of being thrown out, of losing your status as a member-in-good-standing, not based on anything you do but merely on an opinion you hold . . . that's pretty hard. 

     Anyway, those are all the reasons I don't like having opinions. In practice, I find myself hedging my opinions around whom I'm talking to. I shift a little this way in one circle, and I shift a little that way in the other circle. I dodge and weave. It's not that I change my opinion per se depending on whom I'm talking, or shift in the wind. It's more that I close off half my opinions depending on whom I'm talking to, choosing only to disclose those opinions they'll find agreeable.

     The difficult thing about a blog like this is that anyone can read it. It's a challenge. My liberal friends and family can read it. My conservative friends and family can read it. In practice, this makes it difficult for me to say anything, as I pretty much need to censure all my opinions, per my modus operandi. In fact, for the election, I did just that. I didn't post anything on here. And to be honest, I'm not proud of myself for this. I feel like a let down. I don't like it.

     I'm not 100% sure why I feel this way. Part of me feels that I need to stand up and take a stance on important issues. It feels like I'm taking the coward's way out. But there's another part of me that's upset because I normally find a way to weave through difficult topics with enough finesse and nuance to offer a unique and unbiased view that everyone can gleam something from, and I just wasn't able to do that for this election. 

     Part of why I started this blog is not so much to share my opinions as much as to explore them with enough vigor that I feel confident enough to post them. When I get to that point where I feel that I can write something where even people who disagree with me are forced to say I did my homework and I know what I'm talking about, that's when I post something, and it feels good when I get to that point. 

     Anyway, I know this much, I want to keep this blog going, because it feels good to form well-informed opinions. It feels good to dodge and weave through difficult topics. It feels good to have enough courage when I muster it to actually state my opinion. It can be nerve-wracking and intimidating, but it feels good. 

     Who knows, maybe I will post my opinion about the election after all? (Is it cheating to offer an opinion now?)